The Tribe Has Spoken

Okay okay okay.

I've received all your emails saying your enjoyed my harrassment of Mbao and the rest of the half-wits... Thank you, thank you, thank you.

As for the marriage proposal - equally grateful - but for the time being - I'll have to pass. :)

You all have been hounding me to get some more baits in the water - and as I am a mere slave to your whims and wishes - I shall oblige - BUT you have to wait until my exams are over. I'll start fishing and might post up something here or there - but the real baiting won't take place until December - but then - look for things to speed up.

Love and Monkeys.
Scamarella

TEMPORARY HAITUS

I'm off for a bit folks - I'll be back beginning in July with new updates and emails - see you then!

A Meeting With Dr. Fraud... I Mean FREUD.

Ok- I had to pick my brother up at the airport.

I forgot my cell phone at work so I never got the message that he had to change his flight to the next day.

ARRGH

I happened to have passed a row of pay phones and since it would be convenient to have a phone number for my lads to call - I decided to write one of the numbers down even if not just to give it to him and then hear him tell me who the heck happened to pick up...

Anyhoo... So I went home and one of my lads sent me an email. I told him to call me and - of course- gave him the phone number to the airport pay phone. I also told him he had to call me at a specific time- which happened to be about 30 minutes before my brother's flight came in.

Lord only knows what time it was where he was at...

I hope it was super inconvient...

I show up to the airport the next day, grab a soda and hang out by my phone.

It rings!!!!

YAY!

I pick up.

YAY again!!! It's my boy!

I talk to him for about a minute and say that I am looking for the routing numbers for his Western Union Transfer.

I set the phone down and go to the bathroom instead.

I wander back a few minutes later and I'm not really surprised that the phone is still off the hook - the airport is kinda dead and the sort of cul de sac I am in is not exactly a chock full of people either.

I am surprised that he is still on the phone though... Isn't he paying for this??

I tell him my secretary must have it and to hold on again. I DESPERATELY tried to figure out the stupid voice recording thing on my cell phone - maybe I can record this - but no. I am apparently too stupid for technology.

After messing with that for a minute or two - I get back on the phone and say that she isnt at her desk but I found the number - she has it written on a memo pad - where the copy of the actual transfer is - beats me...

OH SHOOT - I cant read these numbers??? I could guess??3

Nope- he wants me to call him back when I find her.

No no - I insist it'll just be a second and before he can answer I leave to get a bag of doritos from a vending machine and inspect the nail I just chipped..

Darn. I wish I had a file.

Soooo I lollygag a little on the way back to the phone...

Still off the hook

Still with my lad on the other line.

Estimated time at this point is about 15 minutes give or take.

I tell him I cannot find her but I paged her...

I proceed to complain about my nail while not letting him get a word in edgewise and ignoring anytime he tried to talk over me...

He was getting restless but it was obvious he wanted that WUxfer number - after all - I had sent him $1700.

He then tried to hang up again.

I threw a hissy fit and said that if he didnt give a crap about me and my problems then I dont really give a crap about his damn WUxfer number and that I would just get my secretary to go and get the money back..

Can you even do that?

I have no idea... Ive never used WU..

He shuts up and lets me complain about my broken nail and my ex boyfriend who recently made a reappearance in my life-- but whatever- its a long story....

...which he heard...

...in its ENTIRETY.

Hell - I even almost started to cry I was so upset remembering the who chaotic mess with my ex...

It was very theraputic I must say though...

EST Time at this point - 30 minutes...

My brother's flight should be coming in soon.

I tell my lad that the secretary just walk in (sort of sniffling -- I admit...I was still a little weepy...) and that I will gather myself and go get the WUxfer numbers and to just wait a few minutes...

I go, get my brother, and we go get his luggage...

I AM DYING to know how long after my lad stayed on that phone...

I'm also curious if anyone ever hung it up...

I guess I wont know... He hasnt emailed me back. He must be mad. I sent him an email trying to lure him back - if not at least to find out the answer to that first question... I guess I just have to wait and see....

Heh heh heh. And to think - I was annoyed I had to go back to the airport....

~Mbao does the YMCA~

From the TRUTH IS OUT THERE Lad:

(Courtesy of Rogermegoodly from Eater:)

What a Tangled Web We Weave...

NB: Since this scam is ongoing and I don't want my scammer-lad to find me should he happen to search for my name I am keeping some information censored.

My comments (mostly sarcastic and snide) will be in WHITE
My emails will be in GREEN
The scammer’s emails will be in YELLOW

Hello ,

I am DJ. From the Federal Republic of liberia, but presently residing in Dakar-Senegal due to political problem.

However,I humbly wish to inform you in my proposal to you that I have about 350kg of Au metal [GOLD] [Quality] and purity 92.5% and 14,585 carat of Rough Daimond.
Due to my financial status ,I have decided to sell each kilo 4500 USD quite below the world market price.

I shall discuss other vital information and document as regards to the origin to you immediately you indicate your interest.
You may reply through my alternate e-mail address or call me on my telephone line.
+221-508-XXXX

I am looking forward to receive your reply.

Yours truly,
DJ


Okay - let's see what we can do to make David crazy....


Im interested. Talk.



Many thanks for your prompt reply. I will be greatful if you can assist me to sell the gold and diamond as soon as possible.
In order to consolidate our relationship I will like you to forward to me you full contact number so that I can reach you and discuss to map out logistics for this transaction

Yeah yeah yeah - whatever. You want my number? Sure - let me find an expensi.. I mean a GOOD one to reach me at.


710-145-XXXX ext 012
Please send me a copy of your license. there are scammers out there and i want to make sure you are not one of them.


BTW- 710 numbers don't work in that block. Not to mention I left off a country code.


Many thanks for your kind reply. I do understand your point concerning scammer on net. One Canadian man who took my 7 kilograms of gold and run away since 5 weeks now. He paid for the shipment and promised to pay me as soon as he round up with the refinery but till date he has not showed up
I am not a gold dealer the gold is just an inheritance from my father. I sucessfully brought the gold from my country to this place. At your request I will forward to you the Air cargo receipt. I approached a German/South African attorney this afternoon who will arrange with me and you on the best means of handling the business

Please I am not a cheat. I am here with my sister who is 20 years and am 23 years old. I still have a future ahead of me. I can never involve myself into something that might send me to jail.
I would have love it most if you will find time to come to senegal and see things for yourself and believe what am telling you today. I will like my business with you to hold under a high standard way and transparent.
I tried to call you but the line is no going please call me on my number +221 584 XXXX


I can't believe it. He couldn't get through to me? Damn phone company.

Some Canadian guy shafted out friend?? Awwww....


My number doesn't work? How strange? Did you dial the correct country code?

You know - the one I didn't give you??


Please reconfirm the number and code again


I ignore that request for now.


Anyhow - I am afraid I cannot do business with you without some proofthat this is all the truth - I am sure you understand. Perhaps youcould take a picture of the gold and send it to me? I would consider that proof enough...


I should get something here....


The gold is still in the custody of the courier company that brought it to this place. I hereby send to you a copy of the airway bill as a proof to what am telling. Sir I am fom a responsible family and do not have to to lie. I am very sure we have a good business to do.

Please advise as soon as possible the means in which we can do this business. I will like you to contact the lawyer so that he can facilitate the whole transaction and make it a reality


OMG - too damn lazy to google some gold to send me a fake picture??? I'm crushed.


(BTW- concerning my next comment - I have nothing against Canadians... I just wanted to bond with my friend D - who keeps changing his name from David to Davis and then back again.)


Oh. I forgot to mention that I am very sorry to hear that some Canadian man stole from you. I never liked Canadians anyhow.. Always saying "Eh" and stuff with their stupid maple syrup. Drives me mad. I promise not to give them any of my gold.


He sends me this "PROOF". I have kindly taken the time to point out a few interesting things.

I decide to send him this:

My number is 710-145-XXX ext 012.

I recieved information that some work is being done on the phone lines in my neighborhood so I wonder if that didn't have something to do with it? I called my phone company and they said they were not surebut for you to keep trying. I am sorry for the inconvenience to you. Please send me the email address for the lawyer and I will contact him.

How are you doing? Are you safe? Do you need anything?


(Like a smack in the head maybe?)


But I was starting to like my friend Davis/David whatever....


The contact of the lawyer is as follows:
Name: Khan
Tel: + 221 672XXXX
Email: XXXXX

I am very safe now. The only thing I need at
the moment is for this gold to be sold so that
I can arrange for a better life and reclaim some
of my fathers properties in peoples hand. I just
pray that everything will work out as soon as possible
Please try and contact him and update me. I already
told him you are my late fathers business friend so
please maintain that while talking with him.
I look forward to hear from you
Davis David


Now he is just combining names. Whatever.


I am glad you are safe David and I will email the Barrister as soon as I can.
Please keep in touch with me.


I send an email to the Barrister - I get no reply for two days. I send this to David:


David!! i TRIED TO CONTACT THE LAWYER BUT HIS EMAIL ISNT WORKING.. i THINK HE HAS BEEN KILLED????? Are you sure you are safe? What has happened????

Drama Queen.

Now this get's a little confusing. Some how David & the MIA Barrister disappear after I FINALLY receive an email from Barr. Khan who tells me that he has no idea who David is. I pass this on to David.

The next thing I know - his email account has been taken over by a new gold dealer. His name is Maxwell. Maxwell pretty much sends me the same email David sent so I will spare you having to read it. I will however include my response:


Sure. My vagina would like to buy some gold.


Whaaaat? Is there something wrong with that? Enter Mr. David.


Thank you for your mail,We are sory for late reply because of busy schedule.
Our Gold Prospectors offers only 245kgs shipments per month as licesensed by our government,and each 1 kg is being sold for usd7,500.00 and the gold oregine is burkina faso,the gold type is gold dust bullion,you can> > specify how much quantities that you can buy.. Shipments and documentation will be made from Bepublic to your> expected destination by air cargo or courrier,after governent documents is> > > obtained. We also give you to room now to contact our prospectors as follows:

Atten:Mr.Samuel David
Ste Dinky international.


Another David? And no mention of my vagina either. I will force them to acknowledge my womanhood.


Can my vagina legally own gold?


Many thank for your quickly feed back towards our transaction,the contents were duly noted with interest,regarding your inquired please i suggest you to contact our prospector and discuse the matter with he to enable us start the pratical business. We are hereby sending you his contact address again for your contact purpose as below. you can rich he by phone right way.


But I don't want to talk to the contractor. I hate him already.


I will not do any business with you until you let me know if my vagina can legally own this gold.


Bingo.


Many thank for your mail.and how are you today,hope all is getting fine so well.as per your request if your vegina can own gold i don't if it is possible how you mean. If you are a gold dealer or if you are a serious buyer we dont think you should advice us to sell on cradit without knowing who we are dealing with or without having a physical meeting for us to be sure we are not going into a wrong hand,how can your vegina own our prospector that is not how we opperate here in africa ok. So now i want to tell you,if you are genuinely interested to buyer gold than we can move on,but i we can't accept your reqiured to own us,futher more like i said if your interest we go ahead as i haved earlier give you our prospector contact addresse for your contact purpose,so you can get in touch with at any time wish it left for you. Please,we need your serious attention on the above areas so that we can move ahead. Waitting to hearing you soon.


Now we are getting somewhere -- but I want some pretty pictures.


My vagina and I are both interested in your proposal. We have been wanting to invest in gold and this is the perfect oppourtunity for us.

Please provide me with a clear and concise list of what you can provide for my vagina and me as well as what would be required of me. Since we will be dealing with very large sums of money - I must first insist on the following:

1. Your license to sell and export gold.
2. A copy of your business card
3. A letter from a licensed gold expert breaking down the purity of the gold.
4. A diagram of the location of the gold to insure it will remain guarded until I am able to pick up the gold in person.

Sincerely, EA. & my vagina.



(I SOOOO know this bait is not going to end that productively for me.. This guy is stubborn....)


It is my upmost pleasure to feed back you onceagain briefly at this very point of time.and i most thank you for your quicly responsed,in futher to my perevious conversation i wish to impart you to know i haved forward your message to our prospector who will reply back to you, as soon he finish negotiate you request, So any time he reply back to you please kindly notify me ok.


Do I look like your secretary? And where are my documents???


I look forward to doing business with you. I am prepared to send thefunds required noce I receive the appropriate documention.


Now once again they take FOREVER in answering - I figured they must have been trying to make the documents.. I mean FIND the documents... But no.


Many thank for your last mail,and am really sorry for our late reply,
please i just want you to inform me if you have receive mail and the requested document from the prospector,have you.


Are you kidding me? FOUR DAYS and they come up with that??? Slap time.


Are you on crack? How long does it take for you to respond to an email??? You must be on drugs if you think this is acceptable. I want an apology that you took so long. or dont write back.


(BTW - the lad seems to intermittently try his hand at making paragraphs... I'm not formatting these...)


Many thank for your mail.
Please note that am really sorry i could haved been given you quick responed it just that i fall sick and on the other hand the prospector traveled,

Please i most apologize to you don't be upset ok,we can now start our business to enable us make profit from each other.

The prospector told me that he will send offer to you have receive it kindly confirm to you.


How long will it take the contractor to get back to me? I want to see a picture of the gold too.


I accidently deleted his next message but he basically asked if the prospector had contacted me yet- which he must have- but I was in a deleting frenzy so I probably deleted that mail too. Not going to admit my fault though... I'll blame the contractor.


I havent received anything from the contracter. PLease have him contact me.


Max questions my integrity:

I just want to let you know that the contractor told me that he have> contacted you and have not receive any feed back from you,why.


The nerve. Well I do get a lot of mail - maybe his needs to stick out?

He DID NOT contact me. He is obviously lying. have him contact metoday. Tell him to put "SPACE COWBOY" in the subject of the email.



Many thank for your mail.
Now you said that the prospector have not contacted you,but he told me that he have contacted you and have't receive any feed back from you,i think if your interested to purchase gold dust from us,you can contact him as we have been sharing mail for quite a long time now,we have to make everything come true,let us move to the tratical business ok not to sharing mail every day without moving ahead,you can contact him and tell him that i introduce you to him,that your interested to buy gold dust and i hope he can prepare offer and send to you,here is his contact address as i have give you before.



Whatever. He should contact me - not the other way around. I try contacting the prospector.


Hello - I am interested in purchasing gold from you. Please email back.


These folks are sure slow.

I receive this back:


I have 280 kilograms of 22 carat plus gold Dust . The percentage Purity of the gold is approximately 92.5% and it isFree of high levels of impurity and radioactive Contents. Please let me know your comments.


WTF is that? What does he want me to say? I am glad your gold is not going to make horns sprout from my head? Or make me glow in the dark??? PLUS he took FIVE days to get back to me.

Slap.


Holy cow! It took you FIVE Days to get back to me??? That is not verygood business practice! Are all of our dealings going to take thatlong? I am a very busy man and don't have the time to sit around and wait for you to get around to emailing me.

Please do not let this happen again.
One kilo will suffice for now.

If all works out well we will purchase more.

Please respond before I die of old age.


do you want to buy gold dust you have to fofollowheprprocedureby visiting ghGhanao ththate can sign business agreement with you i hope you will understand me thanks


What business agreement??? WTF is this guy constructing his sentences using those little magnetic words you can stick on your fridge?


Fine- but I will cease dealing with you if I have to wait five days-that is purely assinine.So now what? What do I need to do? And try to not take a year answering me.


can you call me on my phone 0023324420XXXX


Nope.


I cannot do that - for religious reasons I am prohibited from usingthe phone during this holy month.What information do you need from me to start sending me gold?

:)


Wait for it... Wait for it..... AHA!


To send you the gold is not a problem to me because am a gold dust dealer as you know but what I want you to do is you will scan your international passport photo with your full contact address and send it to me is to enable me send you the gold through DHL service you will pay for the DHL to send it to you
It will cost you $500 dollar for that


Oh really?


I dont have a passport -I have never left where I live... It takes 28days to get one- can I send you my license instead


ok you can send license instead and And your fullcontact details because I will give it to the DHLservice to enable them locket your house when the willdeliver the gold to you. Remember to send the money so that I will pay the DHL service


You need me to pay DHL? What? They won't take gold dust in trade?

I attached my license my address is

4658 Gettoe Street
Hershey Highway
St. Louis, WA 75898

Where do I send the money?


Vic approves my license. Apprently I could have sent a picture of my toilet and he would have been happy.


Thanks for your mail
Send the money trough this name (Derick Amevor) he ismy secretary and you have to send it through westernmoney union transfer to Accra Ghana after sending youwill send me the control number and test question.
Give me your full name thanks victor


So Victor/David/Max/Davis is actually DERICK AMEVOR. Hi Derick. Have you found my site? You are a total tool. Bet you can't guess who else I am baiting you as... Heh heh heh...


I would totally sent you money - but wait- you never sent me my forms...


Sounds good. I am just waiting on the forms you were supposed to send me.


No reply for a week. I decide a prompting is in order.

If I do not hear form you in 24 hours I will do buisiness with someone else. You are obviously not who you say you are.


That should get them moving. They don't want to lose a prospective "client". I get this next email in under an hour.


It have been very painful to me that you think the we are not what we said,
my company have tried to let you know the situations of things here with us, but you not seems to be comfortable with us thanks for your anticipated co- opration


I'm not budging.


Send me the information I required or do not contact me again. Once I receive it I will send you my new email address. You have 24 hours which to send me the documention I require. Any legitimate business will have this readily available.I will not respond to any emails from you unless they have what I have requested.No exceptions. Good day.


After a WEEK I get a response.


Send the money trough this name (Derick Amevor) he ismy secretary and you have to send it through westernmoney union transfer to Accra Ghana after sending youwill send me the control number and test question.


Which is a TOTAL cut and paste from his earlier message. And by the way- since when did he have a secretary and why isn't he sending out crap faster???


Are you fucking kidding me? I gave you 24 hours and that was A WEEK AGO. I don't give a rat's ass if it makes you feel bad that I don't trust you. Send me the fucking documents or stop bothering me. Now you are pissing me off.


what exactly am I sending money to you for? Also - Due tothe incrreased security in the United States all money transfers toforeign countries must be accompanied by the new security form.I am sending you the necessary forms - they must be HAND PRINTED - youcannot type them. As well you must include a photo of the person whowill be picking up the money. So please attach a picture of whomeverwill be picking up the money and send me back the forms as soon as you can so I can send you the money

I send him a bunch of bogus WU forms. The same ones I used in the TRUTH IS OUT THERE bait.


Victor is a lazy hog. He won't do anything I tell him to do.


I don’t understand your form if your not ready to buy gold you can keep you money with you we are receiving money from us every day and we don’t fill form. this is not the way I do business or sale my gold you can keep your money with you
bye we can not fill any fromfor you


Well LA DEE DA. Victor has gotten all snooty with me. Lets see how much he like the thought of some other scammer getting my money:


Okay - I will do buinsess with someone else than. No problem. I have a guy who will sell me the gold cheaper and I am going right now to send him a Western Union Transfer for $750. So there.
Good bye.


GUESS WHAT? :)


We are resending you again this offer sheet for gold dust, Pls.if you are interested kindly reply soon. We have attached a form.


I wonder what they sent?

This could not get any more lame.


I would like to see your business license as well as your license to sell gold. And a picture of the gold itself.


I'll keep playing with them till their eyes bleed.

I'll keep you posted.

Casting: Ms. Fagina's House of Love

NB: Since this scam is ongoing and I don't want my scammer-lad to find me should he happen to search for my name I am keeping some information censored.

My comments (mostly sarcastic and snide) will be in WHITE
My emails will be in GREEN
The scammer’s emails will be in YELLOW

HELLO,
I AM CALVIN, A CITIZEN OF TEXAS, IN USA,I AM A MINISTER OF GOD, ONE OF THE FOUNDER OF THE PENTICOSTAL GOSPEL MINISTRY (PGM), AND I WAS TRANSFER BY THE BOARD OF TRUSTES TO NIGERIA, AND NOW, I AM PASTORING THE NATIONAL HEADQUATER IN NIGERIA IMMEDIATELY WE LOSS OUTFORMER HEAD THERE IN NIGERIA WHOSE NAME IS CELESTINA ABEL,AND ALSO SHE HAVE A STORE IN NIGERIA AS WELL WHICH I AM TO TAKE CARE AND MONITOR IS TH DIRECTOR OF THE STORE. SO WE WILL LIKE TO ORDER FOR SOME ITEMS IN YOUR STORE, AND THE PAYMENT WILL BE MADE WITH THE STORE CREDIT CARD, ALSO WILL SHIP THROUGH (USPS EMS 2-3DAYSEXPRESS SHIPPING METHOD) TO THE STORE IN NIGERIA, BUT BEFORE I PROCEED, I WILL LIKE TO KNOW IF YOU DO SHIP TO NIGERIA. IF SO, KINDLY REPLY THIS MAIL, AND ALSO FORWARD THE LISTOF THE ITEMS YOU HAVE IN STOCK, OR YOU REPLY WITH YOUR WEBSITE SO THAT I CAN LIST THE ITEMS I WANT THERE.

I WILL BE EXPECTING YOUR REPLY ASAP.
THANKS
GOD BLESS YOU

CALVIN

Let's take a moment to analyze shall we?

"I am a citizen of Texas, in the United States." - In North America. On Planet Earth. In the Milky Way. In the Universe.

"..Transfer by the board of trustees to Nigeria..." - Oh huge surprise there.

"I am a minister of God" - Keep that one in mind okay?

"...Immediately we loss outformer head there...." - blah blah blah? Ga bla bu da? Your outformer lost a head? No. More than likely it blew up having to listen to your mindless babble day in and day out. I know it sure give me a headache.

"I will be expecting your reply ASAP." - DAMN! Demanding little bastard.

Fair enough - let's see how badly he wants to play.

Here fishie fishie...

I have a very large inventory. Can you tell me what you were interested in?

He is interested in purchasing stuff from me. He MUST know what the hell I sell right?

Straight from his ass he pulls this:


Hello,
Thanks for the email, I will like to tell you that I need some jewelries, that is why I have mail you in the first instance, so I will like to have your website so I can list the exact items I need in your stock.

Note that you can also attach and forward your price list to me via email, and I will list items needed immediately.

Thanks
J

(Notice the name change? I don't know if I want to do buisiness with someone who exchanges his own name-- seems awful picky..)

I decide to screw with him a bit and see if he IS as stupid as he THINKS I am.


You must have sent an email to the wrong address. My store sells adult fantasy items.

Heh heh heh. Busted. You don't know what I - or my psuedostore - sell. What will CJ do next?


Hello,
Thanks for the email, I will like to tell you that there is a mistake in replying your mail, I will like to tell you that we need the price list of the exact items presently in your store, and we will let you know the actual once we need and going to make payment for it before shippment.

I await your reply immediately.
Thanks


1. "I will like to tell you...", "I will like to tell you..." SO FUCKING TELL ME ALREADY.

2. I "sell" adult fantasy items" -- didn't he tell me he was a minister??? Perv.

3. "I await your reply immediately" - he needs to take a valium and stop demanding crap from me. I DO have a life after all...

Let's see how big of a perv CJ is:

We have over 20,000 items in our store - Twigs, Berries, Beavers & Clams.

Could you let me know the category you are interested in? If you let me know the category I can send you the appropriate information:

Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Male
Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Female
Dildos & Vibrators
Inflatable Lovers -Human
Inflatable Lovers - Animal
Inflatable Lovers - Alien
Dungeon Equipment
Sex-Change Aids
Love Swings, Bungees & Slingshots
Misc. Items
Candy & Other Food

Sincerely
Mistress Fagina


:)


Hello,

Thanks for the email, I will like to tell you that Iam presently interested in the below items:

Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Male
Adult Fantasy Wear/Cosplay- Female

kindly get back to me with the list or the catelogs of the items, or and also the price list so i can list the exact once needed presently.

I await your reply immediately.Thanks


I get the feeling CJ is sending me form letters. I don't like that much. He should at least take some effort in writing me letters.

So CJ's wants some Fantasy Wear... I haven't had time to make up my "catalog" so I hae to keep him on the line a bit longer -


We have many items in male and female cosplay - from Japanese anime to dungeon dominatrix, school girl skirts to granny panties, adult babywear too!

And if you can imagine - we have outfits that are totally edible for twice the pleasure!

Please excuse our delay! You will receive our catalog shortly - so break out the lotion and prepare yourself!

It's sure tot TITilate eventhe HARDEST critic.

And remember - you are free to CUM visit our stores located throughoutthe east coast and seedier parts of Mexico!

-------*************************----------------------********************---------------------
We are currrently re-doing our catalog to include some of the new items we have in stock! If you mention the word TOASTYNUTS you will receive 20% off of your purchase of $500 or more!!! It's sure to pop your cap!
-------*************************----------------------********************---------------------


I'll keep you posted.

CASTING #2: She's a MAN Baby VERSION B

Here is the second version of the bait I have running with a different guy. His story is I can have $4.5 million dollars blah blah blah. he writes:

I am writing to solicit your assistance in the nobletransfer of US$4.550.000.00. This fund is the excessof what my branch in which I am the manager made asprofit during the last year. I have already submittedan approved End of the last Year report for the year2004 and also submitted report of first began quarterof this year 2005 to my Head Office here in Accra andthey will never know of this Excess.

In other words he is scamming his imaginary bank.

You know the routine:

My emails are in GREEN
The Scammer's emails are in YELLOW
My award-winning snarks are in WHITE

Dear M:

I do not know how you would get private email but I am willing to help you in this matter. Please let me know how I can help you. In order for me to answer your emails as quickly as possible - please put SFGC in the subject or your future emails. This is MOST important.

This is important because I don't want to confuse you with one of the other idiots I am baiting. He actually listened at put it in the subject! YAY!


I received your mail in good faith and understood the contents clearly. What really matters in this relationship is the entire approach believing this to be welcome development. I must stress that I contactedyou on trust, understanding, and oneness for the realization of this project. Base on this prejudice,Ineed your utmost co-operation, support and truthfullness in this relationship.This is because,the business I am about to establishwith you must definitely take us affluence and beconsidered as the biggest welcome development of theyear.You must understand that This is monetary matterand I have seen and heard how people have been turnapart in the past due to selfish desire. let us allow God to lead us in this operation so that we can showexample in the society. in response to your mail. I want you to apply To the bank as the beneficiary ofthis fund, I shall send to you the application, whichyou will Use and apply to the bank also I need you toassuring Me that this money will be safe and secure inyour Account until my arrival in your country,i will also need your assuring that i will get my share ofthe fund.I contacted you in this transaction because I believeYou will be capable and competent enough to handleThis transaction. Please, I want this transaction toBe Executed as soon as possible therefore, don’tHesitate to waste time,I will send an Application for you to fill and forwardTo the Bank For immediate assessment and transfer ofthe fund Into Your account, however, I will like youto call me on The Phone for us to have a briefdiscussion. Here is My Telephone number +XXXXXXXXXX please, always reach Me on this my private mail also Iwill need your number for an easy communication. Good-bye for now waiting Upon your call to detail youMoore.i wait to read yor mail.


You want my phone number? Good luck.

My friend -

I too am looking forward to completing this trasaction quickly.

Let me tell you about myself before you go any further as we are notof the same church - you might not want to do business with me thoughI am hoping you will see the wisdom in my path and perhaps might beinterested in learning more?

My name is XXXXXXXXXXX (the R is Rhed - a family name...andactually my "first name" - I'll get into that in a moment...)I am the Co-founder of the Almighty Sanctuary For the XXXXXXXXXXXXX (ASFGCQ) . Myself and others have established a place where gender-challenged individuals can meet andexist where no one will condemn their sexual choices.

This next part may shock you.I am a woman - but I was born a man.

My name was Rhed.

I underwent surgery to remove my man-bits and re-created myself as a woman. Thatis part of what support the ASFGCQ provides to its members. We canassist in offering funds for the surgeries and counseling.However we are a private organization and therefore receive no support from the government -- so the money you are offering ismost welcome!I figured you should be aware of who you are dealing with- I hope youstill wish to do business with us.

Praise the Rock Hard Member


Man bits. I make me laugh.

How are you my dear good friend, your mail is well receive by I, we are not the creator GOD is only him knows the people that he create so you are much welcome by any means, what only I want from you is the truth and trust which well lead and guide us over thisproject and your seriousness to stand till the transfer is made. You have not told me where and how Iwill get my share as soon as the fund hit youraccount. is true that we are moving with trust but weneed to clear our self to avoid having problem infuture.I have done all the needful. Your names have beenprogrammed in the database of the bank as thedepositor and the beneficiary of the account holdingthe fund.

The Telephone and Email on the applicationare those of the International Banking Department ofmy head office. Kindly insert the bank details whereyou want them to transfer the fund to and endeavor toinclude the swift code of the account.Please let me know when you have forward theapplication. I need your private number also you giveme call.Attention to call and notify the bank when you haveforwarded the application, just to expedite actions.Please send the application today and call the bankimmediately so that they will start working on thetransfer immediately.I am counting on you. Please remember to sign theapplication before sending.With regards,Michael.

BELOW IS THE DRAFT COPY OF THE APPLICATION FORTRANSFERTo:


Sir,

Closure and transfer of my Escrow Call Account#0010101667
I am an Escrow Call account holder in your bank withthe details below.Name:
Mr. XXXXXX
Account# 0010101667
Branch: Kaneshie
Amount: US$ 4,550.000.00
Swift Code: INCE GHAC
I wish to close and transfer the above fund to my newbank account as listed below:

Name:Account
#Swift Code/ABA:
Bank Name:
Bank Address:
My contact address:

Thanking you in advance for granting your earliest attention to this application.



Yeah- I'll fill that out immediately. You betcha. Oops! It disappeared. M will have to resend it.


M-

I don't see the application??? Did you send it as anattachment? It seems like your email got cut off? Please resend it.

It seems M is also fascinated by what happened to my man-bits...


My dear,

Infact I don’t know how I suppose to put this word toyou but let me ask some question concerning yourmatter, as you told me that your are woman but born asa man. Do you marry? Or can you in any means desire tomarry? And can you bear child, please let me be clearon this matter to enable me know what I have to do inorder to help in one way,I will like to have your photo and your organizationis church? Is it secret organization?

I wait to read your mail.
Thanks


I hope you are not offended? :(

I am a GOOD person. I am not a criminal or child molester. I am just different.

I am very nice. I am kind. I am not terrible.

Please do not think that! I was born a man. I have always believed I should have been born awoman though. I want to be with men - but not as a man myself. I wanted to be a woman so I had an operation that made me a woman - I have had surgeries to reconstructmy body to that of a woman.

I can marry but I cannot have children. While I look like a woman on the outside I am still a man on theinside.I attached a picture from our New Years Eve party- I am the blonde inthe middle. I am sorry it is not very clear but it is the only one I have around at the moment.

I am very pretty arent I? :)

And NO! We don't always dress that way- it was a party - a celebration! :)

My Organization - The Almighty Center for the XXXXXXX is not really secret - but we try to keep a low profile because of the nature of the group. We do not want our members unsafe and not everyone is accepting of our lifestyle which is why I wantedto let you know up front.

WE ARE GOOD PEOPLE though.

I can send you a pamphlet if you are interested?

There is not harm in looking. We are a very nice organization and are accepting of all races, religions and beliefs.

I sent him a picture I found of a blond transexual with some very flamboyant transvestites. Heh.

I think M is getting soft on me.... He really seems to care. How sweet.

MY Dear ,

How are you, hope all is well. I receive your mail and am glad that you answer some of my question to you. As am saying please tell me if this fund hit youraccount how can we share the money and where, you havenot giving me your number and address also you havenot tell your state again I will like to know your age.

I have a reason by asking you all this questions because this money issue, I will not like to loose what GOD has giving me, this fund is all my hope andyou have to understand that as soon as this fund hityour account I will leave my country to your country for an immediate investment which you will head.

as I can read from your mail, you have not marry ,but you have friends. So are you alone now or you having someone in mind? Let me know all this things because coming to your country is only you I know and know one should know of this business till I arrive. In that photo you send to me, who are you among in the photo.

Are you in black or white?

Please tell me have your doctor ever says nothing can be done for you to be ok, or is money problem? My reason is simple, I will like to know how we will usethis part of this fund to make you ok and the lest to invest. Is your house ok for me or you will look foranother house for me? what do you do for liven ?as am tell you now I have spend all money left with me foran attorney and all document that will empower you tohandle this transaction on your name, so my dear be serous, am only here waiting your confirmation for me to come over. No time should waste any more for us not to jeopardize all the effort that I have made. As Ihave program your name in the bank date as the accountholder and beneficial, stand fore itNp; remember to send the application to the bank nowso that the transfer will commence immediatry


All the effort he has made? What the hell has he done besides listen to my drivel?

I think he secretly wants a little of my meatloaf surprise if you ask me...


I am white - I am the person in the middle.

My information is that at the Santuary - I do not have a private phoneas we at the sanctuary live in a group environment.


My address is:
XXXXXXXX
c/o The Almighty Sanctuary for the XXXXXXXXXXXXXXX
Hershey HighwayEnigma, Vermont 57414

I am 34

There is nothing wrong with me. I have chosen to live my life as awoman. Here in the US we are called Transsexuals. It is not that uncommon.

I have breasts - I went to a doctor for implants. I have had my penis removed.

I am not alone - but I am not with anyone either. You are more than welcome to stay with us in the sanctuary if you come visit. We have plenty of rooms, a swimming pool, cars that we all share... There are five houses on the property we own and everyone shares everything.

Do you need my bank account number?

You should tell me about yourself too. Have you even considered seeing what it was like to wear women's makeup? or a dress? It is very fun.

If I can complete this bait I AM INVINCIBLE! :)

I'll keep you posted.

CASTING #1: She's a MAN Baby - VERSION A

Unfortunately I can't tell you the name of my character at the moment since the bait is still going on and I wouldn't want my little Mugu-scammer catching on... I also can't use the actual name of my "Company" because he might search for that- I'll tell you when the bait is over.

In case you are wonder what "Casting" means - it's how baits start. Before I get any really juice stuff like pictures or establish a rapport with my scammer. Meaning the scammer could decide to bail on me.

I have this bait running with two different guys- so I am going to put up both...

As usual -
My emails are in GREEN
The Scammer's emails are in YELLOW
My snide comments are in white.

Here is the basic situation - I am not going to post his initial letter. First off because who the helll wants to read it? Second - it's fodder for another scammer to cut and paste so I'll just give you the run down.

Some Nigerian "kid" has no parents but an awful lot of money - $2.7 million dollars (pretty conservative by today's standards...). He wants me to help him.

Here fishie fishie fishie...

I don't know how you received my email address but I am glad you did. I would of course be accepting of you - that is part of my job my friend. I am completely trustworthy and will do anything in my power to help you, Let me tell you a little bit about who I am and what I do.

My name is XXXXXXX and I am one of the co-founders of the Center and Santuary for the XXXXXXXXXX.

As a transexual myself, I understand how difficult it is to be genderly-challenged in a today's society. My hopes, as well as that of my co-founder, was to institute a sanctuary where individuals who believed they were born as the wrong sex could come and receive aid in rebuilding their lives in the sex of their choosing. We counsel and provide resources for these individuals to get the operations necessary to start their new lives. In return our members go and leave productive lives and often very very sucessful ones as film stars. They often contribute large sums to our cause.

I understand that the nature of this is not for everyone and many people do not approve of this lifestyle. Hopefully you are different. Please contact me if you are interested in proceeding.

Sincerely,
Dr.XXXXXXX, DS, RTP, PhD
Vice Chairperson and Co-founder
Center and Santuary for the XXXXXXXXXXXX


Let's see if he nibbles:


Can you help me Mr Cherry?


I think he is not reading my email very thoroughly.


Of course my dear I will try my best to help you. What is it you want me to do? - Oh - and I am a MISS - not Mr.

Cherry,

As you can see, I am the only one left alone,and i want to come over to your country to continue my studies since the political crisis of my country is getting worse i don't want to stay here any longer.I have no one to help me but only my church pastor, I have some money in a fix deposit account which my late dad deposited for me in BANK OF AFRICA before he died,though my pastor didn't know about it.Now i want you to help me get this fund transfered to your own personal account before i will come over to meet with you and continue my education in your country.But,Can I trust you?.My Pastor told me to be very careful about my internet friends.Can I trust you?.

I will give you the website and contact of the bank as soon as recieve your positive respond toward this mail.

Thanks
Sincerely


How polite.. And he listens to his Pastor. A regular Saint this kid is.

Your pastor is right. You should be careful who you trust. You are taking a great risk just randoming selecting a stranger to help you.

Fortunately I am an honest person and will help you anyway I can.

Perhaps you could come live with me in the Sanctuary? We are very openhere and would be able to send you enough money to get the funds your father left for you as well as money get a ticket to fly to the United States.Everyone here is very kind and we often help your men such asyourself. I can feel that you are one of us deep down. I am comfortable speaking with you and I think you would fit perfectly in our compound.I have taken the liberty of attaching a photo of myself.

BOTH are of me. I know it is a little confusing - one was when I was a man and the other is me now - fabulous! :)Hope to speak with you soon!!

Let me explain - I found a transvestite's picture on the web with a before and after shot. I sent him both. Heh heh heh....

I think I confused him though. He seems to have forgotten to discuss the scam and is more interested in the Sanctuary. I think he might want to convert...


You mean you are a man before?How???????????

What is the compound all about????????.

Tell me who you are before i will forward any information to you ok.


Dumbass- I have given you a ton of information already. But whatever. If you were smart you would have already since the train wreck this will inevitably end up as.

I used to be a man.

I am still a good person though!

DO not judge menegatively based on this!

I have been taking hormones to look and sound more like a woman. It isnot that uncommon here in the United States. I have told you who I am. Please do not think I am a bad person.The compound is where people like me live peacefully. We can dress anyway that we like.

Everyone is nice and no one makes fun of anyoneelse. It is a very happy place to live. We have five houses on thecompound where our members can live. We have swimming pools, tennis courts, a bowling alley, many cars. We share everything.

NO one will harm you if you wish to come here and join with us. It is very nice and everyone is kind.

Yep. A virtual fucking paradise. Join up. You know you wanna....

I'll keep you posted.

AMUSING CORRESPONDENCE #1: Cat Fight

Daer Friend,

Permit me to inform you of my desire to do business with you with my money in your country. I am a 32 year old business woman from Sierra Loene in west Africa.

I elate to inform you that I inherited a total sum of $22 millionUs dollars (twenty two million dollars) from my late husband chief John Mugu, a gold and diamond dealer who was murdered early last year by the former Liberian president Mr Charles Taylor over the dispute in their diamondand gold deal.

This money which is concealled in a computerised suitcase is deposited in a safe deposit company here in Cotonou, Republic of Benin where I am presentlytaking refuge with my two kids as family treasure not money for security reason.That is to say that the deposit company does not know that the suitcase contain money. This was done under a high powered government conection because the president of this country Mr Mathieu kerekou is a family friend.your assistance is now sought in the transfer of this money to you countryfor investment into any lucrative business of your choice.

this mail,you are requested to visit me here for familiarisation and to enable us arrange on how to get this suitcase out from the deposit company and transferthis money into your account in your country after which I will go backwith you. But if you can not come down here, the director of the deposit company can arrange and bring it to you in your country under their diplomaticcoverage system just the same way it was brought from my country to this place. You will be required to send me your pic to enable me know the person that I am dealing with.I will send mine soon after repairing my scan machine which is now faulty.You will also be required to send to my lawyer, a copy of your international passport or company registration certificate if any to enable him prepare an agreement for us.

For rendering this service, you will be highly compensated, a situation that will be discussed later.

I want you to take this transaction very serious because it will benefityou.I will later tell you why I reposed this trust and confidence in you,a person I have not met before. we must act fast because it cost me $100 daily as demurage to the deposit company keeping this suitcase and the earlierwe remove it from there the better for us. This is not scam please. I knowabout scam because my late husband was a victim before his death. Lookingforward to your reply through this my private emil: XXXXXX

Sincerely yours, XXXX

----

Hi Miss XXXXXX.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. I am glad you found me as I would love to help you. Please contact me immediately and let me know how I can assist you in this situation.

Sincerely,
Sniffon D. Fartz

----

Dear Sniffon,

Thanks for your interest in this business which I can only assure you will benefit you if you take it serious. One of the paragraphs of my first mail to you, I told you that in due course, I will let you know why I am reposing this kind of trust on you, a person that I have not met before. it would have been fool hardy for me to do so without the direction of God.

I am a very devoute christian who believe in God and his prophesies. Let me now unfold the secret of my heart to you.The night before I sent you that first mail, an angel of God appeared to me in my dream and advised me to stop worrying myself over how I can get this money out from Africa because God has already chosen someone to help me do so.The angel then wrote your names and contact address for me on a black board and asked me to contact you.

She told me that if you respond to that mail, you will assist me.

I want you to know that trust is the soul of every business. In the past, we have trusted people even those we know and believe will not disapoint us but atlast, we were disapointed. But anybody chosen by God will never disapoint us.I have given you my trust because God asked me to do so. Man can lie but God never lies.

I would have loved you to come down here to accompany me to the deposit company where this money is deposited and see this money after which, we shall open an account in one of the international banks here, then lodge in the money and transfer it to your account in your country.But if you can not come down here for whatever reason, the director of the deposit company and my lawyer will arrange to bring you this suitcase just the same way it was brought from my country to cotonou under their high powered special diplomatic delivery system which forbides inspection at seaports and airports.

How old are you please and what is your profession? Are you married or single please? Send me your pic.I will be sending mine in my next mail. This will enable us to know ourselves better. Please keep this trust and confidence reposed in you.

Looking forward to reading from you at your earliest convinience. God bless you real good.

Mugu XXXXX.

-----

Hi XXXX-

What a pretty name. I am a woman of course. I too am a widow. My husband was the CEO & President of a multi-billion dollar Fortune 500 company until his untimely death four years ago. I am now the chairmanof the company and have left the day to day running to my brother-in-law simply because business has never interested me. Most of my time I spend shopping or traveling. But I am terribly lonesome.

I know that you were sent to me for a reason!!!You must understand that a person in my position must be careful anddiscrete. Many people try to take advantage of me because I am kind and very trusting.I have spoken to my lawyer about your proposition and he said I should have you send me a picture of your passport or some kind ofidentification first to know that you are real and not trying to just take my money.I know you are sincere - I can tell we have a special bond but I must take his advice on this matter. Please send me the required picture so I can really trust you.

:)
Love Sniffon
----

Dear Sniffon,
I am sending you my pic through this attachment. Please send your to enable us know ourselves. God bless.

---

I just recieved your picture - why you are very very beautiful!

I simply love your outfit. I must certainly travel down to Africa andbuy a few for myself. I contacted my lawyer and he insists I receive a copy of your passport or other identification to assure me of your honesty.

Once again - you are very very beautiful and I will sleep tonight withthoughts of you in my head!

Perhaps it would be okay if I purchase something here in my country for you? Maybe a necklace or ring? Would that be okay?

Love Sniffon

---

Dear Sniffon,
You can purchase anything you like for me.
Nothing will be too small in this dispensation.

I have just sent you my pic.
Send yours in youir next reply.
God be with you.

---

I must have forgotten to reply

---

My dear,
I have attached my pic here for you.
Please send yours.
This will enable us know ourselves.
But let me advise you and your lawyer If you do any funny thing with my pic, I will sue you because I am not a scamer. Do not use my pic for any urgly thing because I will not take it lightly with you.
God bless.

---
Mugu,

I did not get the copy of your passport or other ID and my lawyer has continued to advise me against initiating any business with you until you have sent the appropriate documents...

Why would I do something funny with your picture? What could I possible do? I don't understand???

Do you think I am dishonest? I am very hurt by this...You said God has sent you to me- why would He send you to someone dishonest? Perhaps God did not send you to me after all. I am very upset by your words.

Perhaps we are best off not doing business after all.

Good Day.

---

my dear,
I have a lawyer here too who advised me that i should not send my passport until you have sent at least your pic like I have done.Yes, god sent me to you but you are not responding like his servant.
how can you be demanding everything from me when you have sent nothing to me, Send your pic and I will send all that you ask from me.
God be with you.

---

Very well my dear -

I will send you my picture but be advised that once I do I will require a copy of your passport AND another picture of you. If these passport picture and the second picture are not of the same person in the first picture - we will hav n o further contact.

I am tired of always having to be on my guard because peope are trying to take advantage of me.

Yes I have money, yes I am beautiful - but that does not mean I have no feelings!

Once I receive an agreement from you that you will send me your passport AND a different second picture I will send you a copy of my photo. If you do not agree to these terms than we can consider our business concluded. I am sorry to be so harsh but this is at the insistance of my lawyers.

---

My dear,
O .K first send your pic and I will send you whatever you ask from me but do not ask me to tzake any pic holding your company logo.
Mugu

---

Why would I do that?
You are confusing me.

I have received an email from someone claiming to the real Mugu XXXX and she sent me the same picture you did! She says that you are a liar and that you are trying to take my money?

What is going on here???

---

My Dear,
You are not serious. Who on this earth will say that.? Send me what the person sent to you..
You are the liar because I told you never to ask me to take any pic holding your companys logo.
I have now got you .
Bye.

---

YOU WROTE: You are the liar because I told you never to ask me to take any pic holding your companys logo.I have now got you .

No kidding.

And I did NOT ask you to take a picture holding ANYTHING did I?

I GOT YOU!

You are deceitful- just like the other emailer said - the REAL MUGU XXXXX. You are not a Christian!

YOU LIED. Liar liar pants on fire.

You are a liar and I am glad I trusted the other MUGU XXXXX.

Here is what she wrote:--------

29 March, 2005
[EMAIL REMOVED]
THE REAL XXXXXX wrote:

My dearest friend,

The MUGU XXXXXX youa re talkiing to is full of lies!

Do not believeher as she is not a honest and trusting person.

She is pretending tobe me.

I don't know why. I never have caused harm to anyone.

Do NOT send her money. You need to send me the money instead.

Please hurry as my children are crying for they are with empty bellies!!!

The FALSE AND DECEITFUL woman MUGU XXXXX is probably some ugly woman who has sex with goats for a dollar.


SHe is evil.



She is dirty.


No man wants her.


Not even dead men.


I have heard she has a rotten vagina.


Love honorably MUGU XXXXX

----

You lie. Go away. Who email is that?

--

No. You can't make me so THERE. I'm not telling. I am not a tattletale.

--

I ignore you now

--

You are not doing a very good job of ignoring me.

--

I ignore you.

--

Yippee. I could be so lucky. tell you what-- how about you teach me a real lesson and type JJJJJJJJJJ really fast and hard.... You might be able to TYPE me to death....

Don't you have a relative to eat or something?

--

SCAM #1 The Truth Is Out There

NB: Since this scam is ongoing and I don't want my scammer-lad to find me should he happen to search for my name I am keeping some information censored.

My comments (mostly sarcastic and snide) will be in WHITE

My emails will be in GREEN

The scammer’s emails will be in YELLOW


The scammer’s initial email I am just going to sum up for you because it’s ALL IN CAPS, Misspeled, and the grammar totally bad is.

In short – that first email will cause the instant manifestation of an embolism in your brain from reading it.

So- let’s begin – the basics of the first email are that this Barrister in Nigeria needs to get out $73 million USD and wants me to help him. In return I will receive $33 million dollars. I have to provide him with my address, phone number and bank account information as well as a copy of my passport.


Dear XXXXXX,

I am flattered that you trust me in the endeavor. I appreciate that you understand the need for secrecy and confidentiality as my own position requires such things as well. Please email me if you are interested in doing business with me.

YYYYYY


Good luck understanding this one….


YYYYYY,

my sister, if I hold to make you this note, it is to mean you that you denais fleshfor me more and more and now, I feels that I miss you.you want that I send my photograph to you so that you know that it is notscam?I want that you it helps me is all!! if in my remarks written I have toskid, I forgives, but assistance me it is as God who pushes you to help me.if you want or accept this proposal, then one will be able to set out againthe new ones for emplifier our relation.I am préssé to read you and see your answer.believe me, I want that you helps me. I send my personal email for you to see I am honest. XXXXXXXX@yahoo.com

XXXXXXX


Oooh his PERSONAL email… from Yahoo. How professional … Well it has the word LAW in it so it must be okay.

Let’s fuck with him a bit shall we?

Time for the medication to run out… Here fishie fishie fishie….


XXXXX,

I am glad to see you have trusted me with your personal email. I will safeguard it with my life.

Before we continue let me tell you a little about myself. I mentioned I can appreciate the need for secrecy because of my own career. I am the head of group known as the Faithfully United Coalition Kingdom of Terrestial Alliance – Royal Devision – or F.U.C.K..T.A.-R.D. for short.

We belive that “The Man” (aka the government) has been preventing the dissemination of information which PROVES the existence of life on other planets.

Why – just yesterday one of our head scientists informed me that he has CLEAR and ABSOLUTE evidence that there are dingleberries existing in the lush vegetation of Uranus.

The government has been trying to shut us down – they suspect (correctly) that we are building a spaceship out of used digital watches and Yugos and will be traveling to other galaxies where we will take pictures with our camera phones and post them up for the world to see and know that WE ARE NOT ALONE!

We have recently came upon information that the government has been using new technology – such as the Vulcan Mind Meld – to read our thoughts and this is how they discovered our plans for space exploration.

Myself and the other space cadets have developed protective head gear – which will protect us from the mind-meld – and have also chosen to adopt this as a ceremonial head gear for inductions and whatnot. Making a spaceship is expensive and your offer for funds comes at a most oppourtune time.

You have offered me a photo to prove your honest. I would like you then - to send me a picture of yourself – you MUST be wearing the protective head gear – I have send a picture of what the head gear looks like. It must be constructed out of aluminum foil. You must also have a sign with you with the words: F.U.C.K..T.A.-R.D – THE TRUTH IS OUT THERE clearly visible on it. Once I have this we can continue to proceed with out most important business.

YYYYYYYY


Okay. He cannot seriously be that gullible can he? Read on. I passed on editing this one – it’s giving me a headache.


YYYYYYY,

I send to you directly and firstly my photograph and this after midday I want to send the remainders for our organization to you. I shares to photograph them.is with a heart full with joy that I tien still to write you this letter I am very delighted by do it because, I saw that God starts to bring us closer. Believe because, nothing comes randomly.I love you and I also believe that you like me as much.I wanted to know so tomorrow I send the photographs that what will follow afterwards????

Sincerely XXXXXXX


ZOinks. That is hard to follow. Bottom line? He sent me a picture which is here…

HE DID NOT FOLLOW MY FUCKING DIRECTIONS THOUGH. Bastard. Time to get nasty.


XXXXXX,

Okay- what part of my instructions for the picture did you notunderstand?

I do not believe this is you.

You are not wearing the ceremonial hat of my people.

You are not holding the sign stating "The Truth is Out There".

You must think I am an idiot sending me a picture of some random person.You are obviously not a man to be trusted. One of your countrymen emailed me and is complying with my request for a picture of him and he is willing to do it.

In return I will be sending him a sum of money to assist him in setting up a branch of my organization, the Faithfully United Coalition Kingdom of Terrestial Alliance - Royal Devision, in his area.I will give you one more chance to send me the PROPER picture.

If I do not have it by this weekend - you will receive NO response from me in the future.You will make and construct a hat out of aluminum foil such as seen inthe picture I have attached. You will print out the attached form and have it clearly displayed inthe picture so it can be easily read.


That ought to piss him off—let him think some other scammer is going to get my money.

So- does he comply this time?


Ah!!I want to know if you are a chretienne? why you require me too much?but if one sees well I am the prémier to ask you for a photograph not?or is your photograph? me I believe you then why you do not believe me?I know that I want to make it can that I love you but sendings me also the tien there or you are only a photo portrait for I have the certainty of your person.


Did he just call me a cretin? Fucker.

Now you are going to pay. I also decide to call him Steve from now one – for no particular reason other than it amuses me and I want to see if he will start signing his emails “Steve”.


My dear friend Steve-

I am not requiring anything you did not initially offer me. You asked if you should send me a photograph I said that would be fine - but you must meet my specifications or I shall not help you. If you send me the picture I ask - and ONLY if you send it - will I trust you are sincere and assist you in any way possible. Other wise Iwill believe that you are insincere!

I am not Chretienee - I am a member of the Faithfully United CoalitionKingdom of Terrestial Alliance - Royal Devision. I will not respond to any more of your emails until I recieve my picture.

That’ll teach him. well!


I included/understood well and I send finally the desired photograph to you.good God can assists you.I am persuaded that this time Ci I made well.I also believe that my letter of the morning will inspire to you so that our relation becomes increasingly deep. Steve


By golly I think Steve has a crush on me… Our relation becomes increasingly deep ya know. Kisses…. Oh – and cause I know you are DYING to see what he sent…

BWAAAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAAA

But I’m not satisfied… Let’s see if we can get him to make his friends play dress up too….


Steve my love,

I am touched that you have responded so quickly - the only problem is that you did not include the sign I sent for you to hold. Therefore I cannot be sure the pictures you have sent are of you. You must understand - Anyone who has money must be cautious as to whothey deal with - people will come from all over - pretending to besincere... I regret that I now how to ask people for pictures ofthemselves in order to establish some trust. Also – can you please try to recruit new members. A tragedy occurred whist attaching the fallopian tubing to the shuttle. It exploded and two of our top engineers – Choo and Chu – were tragically killed by the falling ovum. Please include them in the picture too.I have reattached a copy for you to print and hold in your next photo.Please wear the hat and hold the sign so it can be clearly read... Ilook forward to doing business with you.

Read on people…


there, you will verez also my very near coollabarator and the others which are with us.I am persuaded that this time Ci I made well.

Your love Steven


HAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!!!!

I decide to kick up the weirdness.. See if you can spot my hidden sex-jokes….


Snoogie-oookie-oogles,

May I call you that? I feel so close to you now. I am glad to see you have recruited new members and they look so handsome in their ceremonial headgear. They are very big men I am glad to see.

I like a nice big member.

I feel much better now that you are all safe from the mind-reading powers of the government…

I never feel comfortable dealing with an unprotected member—sure – it’s not as spontanteous – and some people say it feels a little different – but protecting your member is definintely the way to go… Some people use lambskin.. or even latex I have heard.. I think aluminum foil adds to the excitement though.

You still did not display the sign though Snoogie-ookie-oogles.

Nanu-Nanu.



Over the weekend my friend Steve emailed me back:


Hello!
it is with many soufrance that I have just carried out this. I think that we arrived at the beautiful port as regards the photographs and hopes for a favorable continuation of your share.I have here with me my two memberships and other people who await the opening of your firm here in Congo RDC.

I have to admit - I am a little upset with Steven. However - my hurt was not as painful as it might have been had he not sent this:

JACKPOT

Hahahaha!!!!

--------

28 MARCH UPDATE:

Okay- so I had to take a few days off and when I returned I found a few emails from my friend Steve. I should add that I sent him a form to fill out before I left and told him he must print it out and fill it out by hand.. (I figure he can waste some money getting it scanned -- heh heh).

I am so happy to have received your pictures! I look forward to doing business with you now as do the rest of the memebers here at F.U.C.K.T.A.-R.D.

I did not realize until now what an attractive man you are. Are you married? Do you have a girlfriend? If you do - she is a very very lucky woman.

Now what is it exactly you need from me?
Do you require some funds? If so - how much?

I will need all that information for our records ofcourse.I look forward to hearing from you.

Your Good Friend -Snoogles


I then sent him this:

Hi Snookies-

I hope you don't mind me calling you that. I feel like we are friends now!

Anyhow- I have spoken with the FUCKTARD members and we have decided to send you the money you have requested.

I will be going away on buisiness and will not be able to be reached for a bit - but I will email you as soon as I return. Please fill out the form I attached which will allow you to get the money you requested as SOON AS POSSIBLE.

I would like to have itsubmitted before I leave- this means you will get your money in THREE DAYS.

Please fill out the form BY HAND - do not type!!!! Please scan and email me the form immediately.

Love -BooBoo Bear

I recieved this when I returned:

Boo-Bo,

I undoubtedly believe you in good health; you as well as the other members of our coalition by which I am the junior. My greeting with all the members no matter what I did not see it yet but I have hope to see them whether early that you will return the easy task to me. Allow me that I you nickname and do not want me in the name of love."My love", I want now that you actually say to me and to put itself at clear what is our coalition, its objectives; i.e. of what FUCTARD consists, which made FUCTARD and what a is its processes finally, which must I do!!?! Because here I must recruit the members."My heart" you know that I love you so much!!?! I promises to you is not to disappoint itself and you will see my fidelity towards you.I want to make kinds which you would be really at ease and which you feel as if you were with the angels. I am in waiting of known as the amount of money so that I submit a report of to you what I shoed. And I learns to you that I sui in impatience to receive it and to see you opposite. I will like to reproduce our FUCTARD exactly as that is on your premise and than one day, when you come here in RDC CONGO, you feels as at home; then, that your explanations are clear in that. With regard to the amount, I fixed a price which you will be able yourself either to reduce or to increase because I did not want to take too much of it to you so that you do not tax me as an avarice but which you feel that much more money shoed than our coalition or a solid organization extremely and powerful here in our country and I of it am able to return it thus.If the means are really not solid then you include/understand the continuation... Please become and would be my heart!!!!

Here, I dared to fill it then you to send it on the email. that you like it to accept it thus. I count on you. but me little where you say will leave so that can you miss me during a time? I will miss you I ensure you. but evryday thinks of me of your heart. I send it to you by an enclosure. I have write an amount but if that exceeds you, then send the amount which seems to you good. your heart

I am not sure what the hell that says. The important part is that he attached my questionaire:

In case you can't read it - here are the questions and answers (in italics) - if it is not posted yet- give me a bit- the program I use to post images is screwed up...

1. Full Name: XXXXXXXXXXXX (which by the way is not the same as ANY name he has given me.

2. Date of Birth: 06/08/1974

3. Age: 31

4. Shoe Size: 41.5 or 42

5. Tastes Great or Less Filling? Tastes great.

6. Do you believe in Aliens? YES

7. Have you ever seen Uranus? NO

8. Have you ever touched Uranus? NO

9. Do you think astronauts should be able to explore Uranus? YES

10. What donation do you require: $25,000

11. Are you still thinking about Uranus? Not really

12. Is Uranus dirty? No

13. What address would you like your donation sent to? Western Union Bank of RDC Congo

14. What will you use the donation for? Because firstly I want to employ that for the insallation of a branch of FUCTARD here in RDC Congo and to help the orphan and widow of the wars and to show to advance my studies.

I hearby swear that I am a complete FUCKTARD and Space Cadet. I also pledge my absolute loyalty to the inhabitants of Uranus. Nanu Nanu.

HEY - Check out my Trophy in 419 Eater :)

---------

UPDATE:

hello chery!! why then silence? your silence returns much sick pet to me


Oh yeah? And your grammar makes me sick.... So we are even.

I was away for a few days so I had to come up with an explanation. I forgot I told him earlier that I was be away on business... Eh- I made something up...


Please excuse my silence- there was a tragic death in F.U.C.K.T.A.R.D. I had to attend services in his home state and see to the proper burial. We had to arrange his ashes to be sentinto space and I just returned this morning.

He sent that twice so I figured i would grace him with two emails. I had a new idea about what to do with him at this point - I decided to start spinning the web....

And yes, I am now just randomly calling him things....


Snoogles,

As I mentioned I have submitted your documents to the advisorycommittee of FUCKTARD. They will be meeting this week to discuss your proposal.

I will go to the meeting and give my okay for the money to be sent to you. I have also spoken with some friends of mine who areon the committee as well - I have convinced them to vote "YES" for your project. I believe we will be sucessful in getting your your monies - so let me congratulate you on all your efforts.

The only possible problem I see is that two of the members on the committee are against your proposal. They have been a problem in thepast - but I should have enough people on our side to okay the proposal. I will keep you posted.When we get the approval - how can I send the money to you? Western Union will not allow a transfer of $25000. Can you come up to our regional office to pick up the money? (If you do - DO NOT FORGET YOUR protective headgear!!!!)

I can also come down to deliver the funds directly to you if that is easier. Can you meet me at the Airport? What airport is close to you?


Okay- here is my plan. I am thinking two possibilities...

1. I convince him to pick me up at an airport near him. But he has to wear the foil-hat AND a foil shirt- or perhaps bowtie... I like dressing up all formal and shit...

2. OR he can come fly up to me where I will promptly have him beaten by thugs.

What I am not doing however is sending him so much as a penny. Not even one that fell in the toilet.

Oh!! my heart!!I brule desiresde to see you whether vousle knew!!here in do RDC Congo the races resoivent the large one going up more than what I asked by transfers on WESTERN UNION it is easy!? how you say thus?by WESTERN UNION it soufit of going deposer the known as sum and with a password and this password you it to as early communicate as you send the sum by email and me to me I will irrai to withdraw it. Bah!! if can come, there to come in RDC CONGO our in airport, you to give me all the precise details possible i.e. the date, the day of arrived, the destination of the plane and the hour of arrived and you will see me present spirit to await you. I love you much you know it??!!!I a word of your share waits which goes given me the koie and to be made the goose flesh yours


WHAT? Can we say that in a language not only understood by rare species of ferns?

Oooh I have a new idea too!


My Adoring Nutsack,

The problem is that Western Union will only allow transfers up to$2000.

So in order to send you the $25,000 I would have to send 13 different money orders which would not be convenient. Is there an airport nearby you? I would love to fly down there to seehow your recruiting of new members is coming... Do you think I shouldfly down there to bring you the money? I have always wanted to visit Africa... Especially where Woodstock was held! (You know.. with all the hippos and stuff...) AS for your money - the $25,000: The committee will meet on your proposal FRIDAY April 1, 2005. - whichis rather annoying. Due to the death of our founder - which I mentioned - they had to push back meetings and now are trying to catch up. I am trying to convince them to meet THURSDAY instead. I hate that you have to wait for the money you so deserve!!!! I will let you know.I have not heard good things about the donation though. The two members who I said were a problem have convinced the comittee that you are not sincere. I told them that you were and I reminded them how you filled out the forms needed AND sent me the required picture. I toldthem you are HONEST!I don't know if they believe me though. (spin spin spin) It might be helpful if you found some land which to establish a center where FUCKTARDS from all around could come and learn about space travel. I realize this might involve travel and some expense on your part - but if you do this - I can reimburse you for any money you spent. This will convince the committee that you are totally serious and honest about recruiting members. This is what I was thinking:

Find a location for sale

Bring a few members with you

Make a HUGE banner (a bed sheet with the phrase "WE ARE PROUD TO BE FUCKTARDS - NOW AND FOREVER! painted on it would be perfect!!)

Go to the land and take a few pictures of you and your friends o nthe land we will purchase and send them to me

DO NOT FORGET TO WEAR YOUR MIND PROTECTION HATS!

DO NOT FORGET TO LET ME KNOW HOW MUCH MONEY YOU SPENT DOING THIS so we can reimburse you.

You will not need to fill out another form -just let me know and I will pay you out of my personal account. So long as it is less than $2000 I can western union it the same day yousend me the pictures.

Your Clingon Warrior


There is NO WAY he will fall for this but it's worth a shot.

He responds with this email -- break out your Rosetta Stone-- you'll need it.


BOOBOO! Hello!!Yesterday after reflexion, j’ai thought this if can you like that: Know that apart from our coalition, me and you we develop already d’autres affinities which we must hold account. I think that if one has together you will see which is l’attachement and l’importance that I give you and the serious one that j’ai for our coalition. Me, are my concern c’est you and which your concern? I want to see at all costs you except that I miss the means really oh my cœur. I feel in my cœur as if one day I tightened near you. True Es what c’est? I even wish that you comes here where you m’appelle where you are for qu’on sees and qu’on speaks itself but alas!! I believe that you delays so that our association is established here in Congo RDC???? why? For better sending l’argent and to circumvent the obstacles of l’union Western, you m’envoies that by section of 5000$ or 2000, 3000$ to see even of 10000$ for facility transfers them. And always by WESTERNE UNION but you will be able to program one day when you can come to visit us and visit also l?association which tightened already installed here. I dream the day when I will see you with my eyes oh! What a joy!?! What a embrace! I tien so that our coalition is represented here with rather than possible, because the members are already there but the funds for startings is missing to us. Quickly assistance us quickly satisfied me so that the things goes well. J’attends impatiently your continuation and a word d’amour of your share. L’homme which will make your joy in one very close moment. I t’aime so much my booboo. I feel with the angels when I read you on email.your love JP KABWE

Froogle-noodles,

It is hard for me to understand what you write - I cannot send morethan $2000 by Western Union - I contacted them and they would not letme send more than that amount.I am happy to hear that you are well and that you will take the new FUCKTARD members to find some land for us! You do not need to bringall 25 members you found though! 4 or 5 will be plenty and will surelymake the committee happy and they will have no choice but to agree tothe $35,000 you asked for. I know you initially wanted only $25,000but I have submitted some paperwork to get you an extra $10,000 tohelp you with the initial fees for the land purchasing.I will also be sending you some new paperwork to fill out because inthe United States we must pay taxes on this sort of thing and I willneed some information. I will also need some forms filled out for outrecords but only after the committee has given the OK to yourrequests.OH! The Committee has agreed to allow me to travel to RDC Congo tohand deliver the funds after they are approved! How wonderful!I love you with all my being BooBoo

My BooBoo!! great kiss with you!!I am me as very delighted by read you and see as you must know now who must be make. I very did not include/understand very well when you say that you ' will send a card to be supplemented if I it includes/understands well is what still with the Juste? but of all that I am toujour close bus I had promised the fidelity at all point to you can that I love you. you know if you loves somebody is something, you must do everything for watch which you really like. I want to know well; they already authorized you to come where they will do it after the known as meeting? and if you will come in person, when then your to arrive? you must give me all the precise details so that I prepare you know yourself that in RDC CONGO there is instability sécuritère or safety is really null and without guarantee. do of tone better and send initially something so that I organize a siege or I can already function and or the members will be able to come already to see the preconditions and how afronter realities of CONGO for facility good an advance of FUCTARD with your arrived. clarifies me well you do not say 25 members but 4 is 5??? so yes OK!! you can send to me that even by your own expenses between 500$ is more according to you. you fetes not too much disturbance because I know that you as like me but know as me I love you more. my and my love you know that at life is hard and that all costs flesh extremely!!?! believe me even email that I come toujour to make you costs me too flesh. I only spend more 5$ per 40 munites and yet I suffer much. that is to say tojour precis to avoid my expenditure please how! accounts you to really live with me?? let me know please so that I know it at the bottom.your heart jp

He is complaining because he has to pay to use the computer--- gotta pay to play babaloopie...

I just keep up with the new names for him - I could call him Yeasty-tampon and I think he would be okay with it....

Noodlesoup!

You make me smile reading your email.

I know it is hard to understand each other so let me try to make a list of what we need to do next. When you answer or if you have a question - refer to the number so I know what you mean okay?

1. In order to help speed up the receipt of money - you should take3-4 members that you recruited- (the men in the picture you sent willbe perfect) to a site where we can propose to build the FUCKTARDcenter in RDC CONGO.

2. Make a nice BIG sign which reads "PROUD TO BE FUCKTARDS AND SPACECADETS" (make sure you spell it right darling- you have be making amistake - it is NOT FUCTARD - it is FUCKTARD... :)

3. Send me a picture of this immediately so I can pass it on to the committee.

The reason this is important is that if they see you are verydedicated - you will have the total sum of $35,000 by WEDNESDAY, the 6 of April so can start the FUCKTARD center. If we do not recieve the picture before the meeting - you might have to wait a little longer.

4. The commit